In many places dating is seen as a means of romantic entertainment, a fun activity. Dating takes many forms. For some it is a formal structured affair, the agenda includes giving flowers, having a lovely dinner, and a good –night kiss with member of the opposite sex. For others, dating simply means spending time together with someone you like of the opposite sex. There are teenage boys and girls who are often seen together but who claim to be “just friends”. However, whether you call it dating, going together, or just seeing each other, it usually amounts to the same thing: a teenage boy and girl spending lots of time together socially, often unsupervised. Dating was not the custom in Bible times.
The Pressure to Date
I. Peer Pressure: It is not uncommon for you as a teenager to feel under pressure to date because most of your peers probably date, and naturally you do not want to seem weird or different.
II. Pressure from a Relative: The pressure to date may also come from close relatives. A teenage girl explained that when she was asked to go out on a date at age 15, her aunt advised her that whether she wants to marry the boy or not has nothing to do with dating, it is a part of ones natural development as a person and that if she always turn guys down, she will be unpopular and no one will ask her out. This teenager recalls: “Aunties words sunk down deep and I was asking myself, would I be cheating myself out of a good opportunity? The boy had his own car, lot of money; and I felt I would have a great time. Then, I started asking myself, should I date him or not?”
III. Personal desire for warmth and affection: For some youths the pressure comes from their own desires for warmth and affection. They want to be loved and appreciated. An 18 year old female explained that since she was not close to her parents, she turned to her boyfriend to find closeness and to have someone to whom she could pour out her feelings who would really understand.
A teenager should not begin dating simply because he or she feels pressured to do so! Dating is a serious business. It is a part of the process of selecting a marriage partner. Marriage? Yes! This may be the last thing on the minds of most youths who date. But think of this, what justification could there be for two people of the opposite sex to begin spending a lot of time together other than to investigate the possibility of marrying each other?
-Written by Bro. Daniel
So what are your thoughts on the pressure to date?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
hi and by God's grace i'm born again.i've been wanting to ask this qustion concerning dating because some peers inform me about something important.WE as christian suppose to live by the fruits of spirit according to Galatians 5:22-23.So my question to you bro. john or other brothers for this site is, "Is it possible to date someone if you have self-control(temperance)?"(just curious)Thnx and God bless you guys.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sincere question. Your question will be handled later by Bro Daniel but since you directed it to me, I'll give you an answer. The Bible asks a very important question in the book of Proverbs 6:27&28, it reads "Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?" As a Christian NEVER play with fire because you'll get burned. Self-control as a fruit of the Spirit ought to help restrain a Christian from dating!(remember that by 'dating' we mean the negative type - see part 2 of this article).Joseph in the bible had self-control and that made him to refuse to "be with" Potiphars wife!Finally, youths must not tempt God(see the example of Jesus in Matthew 4), having self-control or any other gift from God mustn't be a reason to do wrong. Recognize the devils tricks, he usually uses the Bible to deceive.
ReplyDeleteYouths be wise - Bro.J.E
It is a temptation from Satan for a born again Christian to think that he can go out on a date because he has the fruits of the spirit. It is absolutely true that self restraint/control is one of the fruits of the spirit, and that was what Jesus Christ exhibited when he was tempted by Satan to turn stone to bread. Jesus knew he is the Son of God and can turn stone to bread, but he was able to recognize Satan’s temptation. Therefore, he did not fall for the temptation by turning stone to bread. What was Jesus’ response to that temptation? Let’s read Luke 4: 3-4 KJV “And the devil said unto him, if thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread. And Jesus answered him, saying, it is written, that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God”
ReplyDeleteThink of this - It is a fact that Jesus had fasted and was definitely hungry. Jesus knew where to go and get food/bread to eat in town. There was no scarcity of food at that time. Therefore, there was absolutely no need for Jesus Christ to turn stone to bread.
A born again Christian does not need to go out on a date to prove that he has the fruits of the spirit. Remember, dating simply means “a teenage boy and girl spending lots of time together socially, often unsupervised”. Dating was not the custom in Bible times. The word “unsupervised” is the key word that makes dating forbidden to teenagers. Once the outing is a supervised one, it is no longer dating because there is someone to bear witness that nothing immoral was said or done during the outing.
Portipher’s wife would not have asked Joseph to come and lie with her if there was another person in the house with them. She made sure there was no one (third party) in the house, except her and Joseph, before making that proposal to Joseph. And because Joseph knew the word of God concerning fornication and the biological fact of life that comes into play when you keep company of someone you like of the opposite sex. “The more you keep company of someone you like of the opposite sex, the more sexual desire can grow, whether you want it or not. It is the way all of us are made! Until you are older and more in control of your feelings, dating may be too much for you to handle. Unfortunately, many youths find this out the hard way” Probably because they feel they have the fruits of the spirit and therefore can go out on a date unsupervised!!!
The born again Christian that is tempted to date needs to remember that Joseph was able to recognize Satan’s temptation. Therefore, he did not fall for the temptation by remaining in the house with that woman. What was Joseph’s response to the temptation? Let’s read Genesis 39: 10-12 NIV “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even to be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, come to bed with me! But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house”.
Other Bible passages for the teenager to read and meditate on are:
Timothy 2:15NIV “ Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth”.
Romans 15:4 NIV “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope”
2 Corinthians 2:11NIV… in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Thanks for your question. I read through the comments posted by Bro.Daniel whose article on dating is also posted on this blog and Bro J.E.
ReplyDeleteI hope your question and concern is resolved by all these answers given.
By the way,is it by dating a person one can show temperance (self- control) as a fruit of the Spirit? Absolutely not. To even think you have self-control on issues such as dating is like treading on a path of hot coals. I Cor.10:12 says 'let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall'.
When you are talking about dating, emotions are involved. When emotions start acting on a person, it can lead to the undesired.
Why not leave dating or going out on a date till the right time like when getting ready for marriage and concentrate on developing spiritual gifts,study skills and tools to enhance academic excellence? In fact if you engage in school projects, church activities and outreaches and personal development (spiritual,academic,etc), you will be too busy to even think of going on a date.