Dating: a Christian Perspective - part II

The Dark side of Dating

One thing is certain, youths are in the vulnerable period of life and during this time, you may feel powerful surges of sexual desire. There is nothing wrong with this; it is part of growing up. However, there is a great problem with teenage dating because teenagers are just beginning to learn how to control these sexual feelings. A biological fact of life comes into play: The more you keep company of someone you like of the opposite sex, the more sexual desire can grow, whether you want it or not. It is the way all of us are made! Until you are older and more in control of your feelings, dating may be too much for you to handle. Unfortunately, many youths find this out the hard way.

Let’s examine and learn from what a youth said about his experience with dating:
“When we started dating…we didn’t even hold hands or kiss. I just wanted to enjoy the pleasure of her company and talk. However, she was very affectionate and would sit very close to me. In time we started holding hands and kiss. This created within me an even stronger sex drive. It affected my thinking to the point that I wanted to be with her, not just to talk, but to hold her, touch her and kiss. I couldn’t get enough! I was literally going crazy with passion.” Little wonder, then, that dating often ends up in secret sexual relations.
True, you may well know God’s law regarding sex and you may sincerely desire to remain a virgin, but always remember the biological fact of life that comes into play: The more you keep company with someone of the opposite sex, the more sexual desire can grow, whether you like it or not.
1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 KJV “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God”.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's”.
Now let’s turn to Genesis 39: 2-11 NIV and learn from how another youth avoided a secret sexual relation by means of his knowledge of God’s law regarding sex and his desire to remain pure/chaste/virgin:
Genesis 39: 2-11 NIV. “The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned...Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house”.
Proverb 1:10 KJV “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not”.
Put into pointers, the dark side of dating include:
I. Frustration: Yes! You may argue that not every youth that spends lots of time with someone of the opposite sex ends up having sexual relations; some let their display of affection stop just short of it. Okay! But think of this, what results when one is worked up emotionally and has no honorable outlet for such feelings? Frustration!

II. Torn Emotions: Teen romances are always doomed relationships, often terminating in heart break. During the teen years your personality is still in a state of flux because you are discovering who you are, what you really like, what you want to do with your life. Someone who interests you today may not interest you tomorrow and when romantic feelings have been allowed to flourish; someone is bound to get hurt. Several research studies have linked “a fight with a girl friend” or “disappointment in love” to the situations responsible for many youth suicides. After a secret sexual relation, a boy may find that his feelings for the girl are not as strong as before; he may even find her less attractive. A girl on the other hand may feel exploited. Recall the Bible account of the young man Amnon and how lovesick he was over a virgin Tamar. Yet, after intercourse with her, “Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone”. – 2 Samuel 13:15.
A girl had a similar experience. She explained that after having sexual relations, she hated herself for her weakness, and hated her boyfriend. In fact, the sex relations they thought would bring them closer ended their relationship. She stated that she didn’t even want to see the boyfriend again. Yes, by having premarital sex, a couple crosses a line over which they can never go back!

III. Teenage Pregnancy: By observing that some of their friends had enjoyed sexual relations without getting pregnant, some girls figured they could do so, too. The truth is whenever one engages in sexual relations there is the risk of pregnancy.

IV: Sexually transmitted Diseases: Some youths feel no guilt whatsoever about having sexual relations. However, sexually transmitted diseases often result from premarital sex.

Galatians 6:7 KJV “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap”. Pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are just some of the ways one can reap an unpleasant harvest from fornication. Even using birth control is no guarantee that a girl will escape pregnancy.

-Bro Daniel

So what are your thoughts or questions on the dangers of dating?